As a young black girl who was born in 1984, I watched television shows with actors that looked like my dolls; their skin complexion and such. I enjoyed watching these people, because that’s who they were; people. It was something different about them that kept my attention beyond the acting. Was it the jet black, blond or reddish orange hair? Was it their beautifully colored eyes of deep blue, clear blue or even green hazel? Oh my God! Was it their bright skin? I don’t know and can’t pin point exactly what makes me gaze at them. One day, I was watching a show with my parents and I heard my dad refer to these people as a color. I learned they were called, “white people.”
I watched some black and white shows, romance movies, horror movies, comical, drama and of course the Superheros. I didn’t know what to think of it, but I couldn’t get enough of watching them. I fell in love with Dracula and vampires at such an early age. It was the sweet talk, the caresses, the oooh so soft kisses and the way he touched her body and easily undressed her. I was certainly hypnotized by pure seduction. What did I know at that age? All I knew, is whatever the vampire was doing must have been something good. Before the fangs would grow, I did’t see her fight him off. His presence and his touch were welcomed and wanted.
In the romantic films, I saw the white men with clean shaven faces, their hair slicked back with a tall, black top hat being gentleman. They would properly approach a lady (with just enough charm not to scare her away) to ask her for a dinner date or a dance at a gathering. They would grab a lady’s hand gently as she make her way down the steps and even greet his lady with a soft, non-threatening kiss on her hand. I always noticed as the gentleman escorted his lady, she wasn’t usually in front of him, depending on the circumstance of the environment. Not behind him, as if she was insignificant like she didn’t matter. But she was usually with him, walking by his side with her arm in his, like she mattered.
The comical movies were always good to watch. That is if it had good or great actors that don’t mind being silly just to make us laugh. Haha Haha who doesn’t like a good laugh? Who needs a good laugh? Who adores someone that will make you laugh? There’s no question about it. Comedy just makes us happy and I found it very attractive if a man made me laugh, especially, white men. There were some comedians young and old, handsome and not so attractive. I’ll name a few. Steve Martin, David Spade, Jerry Seinfeld, Rodney Dangerfield, Robin Williams, Adam Sandler, Jimmy Fallon, Jim Carrey, Craig Ferguson and Will Ferrell. All of these guys made me laugh through the years.
Lastly, I’ll take you to the world that doesn’t exists. It’s the comics where Superheros are real. Yup! I’m going there! You know the first hero I will mention is, Superman! He has these crazy, unthinkable super powers that keeps you in awe of his abilities
in using them. The men they have chosen to act as him over the decades were all so perfectly handsome with broad shoulders, strong mandible, shaven face, piercing eyes, well groomed black hair and who could ever forget that cute curl that sat on top of his forehead. Batman is next on the list. He’s smooth with the ladies, mysterious, intelligent, rich, great in Martial Arts, muscular, the man with the plan, driven, has a heart and has his lips exposed. I mean, COME ON! Don’t get me started. Well… too late for that. Spider-man, Iron Man, Thor! Oh God, Yes Thor! or Chris Hemsworth!!! Loki played by one of my top celebrity crushes, Tom Hiddleston. *Not a hero but he is sexy!* Captain America played by Chris Evans and Wolverine played by the Australian hunk, Hugh Jackman. But as a child, I knew most of the superheros as cartoons (except Superman). Though they were fictional characters, I was still drawn to them.
I didn’t know what all of this meant until one day at my (predominantly black) elementary school had special guests that arrived in the cafeteria. All teachers and students were summoned to gather at the cafeteria, but not for lunch. But to quietly be attentive and receive information with an open mind. Everyone kept whispering and asking each other, “What’s about to happen?” Why were we called to come here and we’re not going to eat?” Who were the special guests?” It wasn’t too long before we found out. There were people with video cameras, a huge bulky computer and kids with microphones. They were teachers and students that came from another school to show us we could be apart of their school to teach us technology and excel. I’ll admit, they had my attention and hopefully didn’t notice my dreamy eyes gazing when I first saw them, because they were all white.
After school, I went home with the information in hand and presented to my parents why I should go to this school. They were impressed but not with the distance of the school from home. After mom and dad had a long discussion. They submitted the application to the school! Before summer came along, I had received my acceptance letter. August came and there I was as a fourth grader. A little black girl surrounded by a lot of white kids in a school called, Whitehouse Elementary.